Friday, May 5, 2017

The scent of you is beyond exquisite

When I am near you, 
holding you close, your skin next to mine,
I feel like a Mother when holding her new infant,
intoxicated and enraptured by it’s sublime smell, 
reminiscent of a Love so deep and Divine
the One that goes beyond space and time

I don’t want to ever want to be far away from you
You are the New
the welcomed beginnings
that my Love needs

Revisit (The Mourning Chronicles 1)


I return, over these long but few years since you left, 
to places that we used go. 

Sometimes people ask me,“where’s your husband…that man you are always with?",  
ask how is “everything going with the two of you?”,
they invite us to gatherings, to lavish parties that we socially fit into,
they often want me to tell you simply, “Hello”?

I know they only ask because they see me alone, without you. 
We were inseparable. We still are.

How do I tell anyone who asks...?
How you left to go to another realm,
and hopefully,
you are there waiting for me..?



Saturday, December 24, 2016

Out of everything, I miss you. Oh! So much!
What you've cast and woven, I cannot turn away from, nor do I want to.
You're my need. Without you I feel so tight. Unravel me.



I want you deep inside
where you are the closest

Papahoggies (A Love Letter of Thanks)


Sunday, December 18, 2016


 Please excuse me for sending you an email message, but for the strangest happenstance, I don't have any of your personal contact info on my current device; I would have just texted. And, as you know, I am not on social media so I couldn't just send you a FB message. Oh, this modern world.

 I was just thinking about you this evening. Thinking of you in that deep way one sometimes does. Well, not "one" but me. I have so many fond memories of you. I am still in such amazement that you and I became friends, in that magical way that we came together. As simple as it was, there was indeed magic there. I am still touched by it. And oh how quickly our lives aligned with each other and we began creating memories that when we think back on them, as time moves forward, they are part of our youth. I am still moved by it.  We were there for each other in some dire times, and we were there for each other in some bright times, too. We were a part of each other at those times when our lives had begun to diverge and we started on new paths. I am still reeled by it.

 All these thoughts of you live in a place that is home to me. They live in my heart. I thank you for it.

 Although we aren't privy to the minutiae of our daily lives, and we are separated by miles of road and earth and sometimes expanses of water, you are with me always. All I have to do is think about your Doheny Drive apartment (it's been torn down). All I have to do is think about Theory (or Helmut Lang). All I have to think about is Christmas (trimming your tree, watching "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"). All I have to do is think about San Francisco. All I have to do is think about you.

Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for having loved me with soul. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for letting me be a part of your youth. Thank you for letting me be a part of your adulthood. Thank you for everything.

 I love you, my dear sweet smart special friend xxoxx


(December 17, 2016)

The Questionable Experience of Lust


Wednesday, December 14, 2016

The questionable experience of lust of the flesh is one that leaps from the longing for another's energy. This is a fleeting reach for it is temporary and is futile to give into it, you can't ever win, you can't get satisfaction. What you touch doesn't last long. It is never yours to claim. It is a false and sad replacement for the lasting endurance of Love.

"Sunday Morning"


Tuesday, December 13, 2016

On Aug 9, 2015, at 9:29 AM, "Mx Amoureaux" wrote:

Oh how lovely it would be to sneak under your covers and give you a deep wet kiss and taste the droplets of salty sweetness that escape from you when I come up for air. You’re the most delicious thing to me. Miss you. Need you. So in love with you. Xox

On Aug 9, 2015 9:35 AM, "XX" wrote:

Will u do that to me soon baby?

On Aug 9, 2015, at 9:38 AM, “Mx Amoureaux” wrote:

Absolutely yes. I'd do that to you every morning.

On Aug 9, 2015 9:42 AM, "XX" wrote:

Mmmmm fuck. Want that so badly

On Aug 9, 2015, at 10:11 AM, "Mx Amoureaux" wrote:

And I want to do that to you, so badly and often. But you have to promise that we’ll sit quietly afterward reading the Sunday Times and I get the Arts section first ;)

On Aug 9, 2015 at 10:21 AM “XX” wrote:

I promise

Tyrant I/II


Friday, November 4, 2016


 I must seem like a tyrant when it comes to Love,
not sure if I want it or not, I push away when it comes time to pull in,
always doing things to fail myself from falling deep again, 
all the while wishing for the things I felt and have lost along the way. 
I call my guards up and begin to wage war against these things because of and in the name of Love.

I do this to heal the hurt and pain that falling deep into Love has left me. 
Self-inflicted, self-vindicated, is it real pleasure or real pain? 
The wages of battle are surely ache and loss, a price I don't want to be obliged to pay.


I give my body away like it were a worthless coin, trying to forget that the truth is
 I am a precious jewel, a rare delight.
I urge the soldier of my own choosing to go deeper, into the place that only I know,
to leave his essence to fill me up where I feel empty, 
to leave a Light on inside 
so that I don't go Dark.

Question Series 2


Topic: Car Sex--Uber Fuck? 

Question: Have you been fucked by an Uber driver or similar situation? (SL in London, UK)

I seem to have no problem with getting "car action"---

In NYC I have a limo driver I directly hire and whom I suck/fuck when I'm in town. We met when I needed a driver to take me home one night seven years ago from a posh industry party in Manhattan to my apartment in Brooklyn Heights which is some distance...lots of innuedo in our conversation led to him pulling right in front of my building and getting into the backseat with me so I can "relieve his stress" with my mouth that first ride. I swallowed every drop! He didn't charge me and gave me his cell number "for the next time I needed a ride". I've been using it ever since! He drives me all over NYC, to/from area airports, even picking me up from the Hamptons once (I had to let him fuck me on the way back into the city and again on the sofa in my apartment while watching "Black Girl" porn for that long trip). He's never charged me (I do tip him generously though--it's only fair), taking mouth and pussy as main payment.

In London where I used to live some years ago, I used a gypsy cab service for a ride home one drunken night from a lounge bar in SoHo to my apartment in South Kensington and the driver (I think he was Armenian) offered the ride for free if I would let him "feel my legs up". I got into the front seat and he proceeded to stroke my legs whilst he pulled out his thick cock and stroked. I leaned over and sucked and swallowed his hot cum. He gave me his number, which I used one other time--again sucking him off in the front seat after he dropped me at my flat. I used the same gypsy service another time soon after and had a different driver (a Russian guy with a thick heavy accent) offer me a free ride if I let him finger me, so I did. I sucked him off too. He said that his "friend" told him about me and that I'm a "good fare" (he also said I am known as the 'exotic chick-with-a-dick' by some of the gypsy cab drivers in that particular section of SoHo lol). 

In LA, I have been fucked by three different Lyft drivers after being dropped off at my place in the past few years-- one driver gave me his cell #/Lyft discount code after he dropped my girlfriend and I off at a weed shop and said "if you ever need a ride..." One night I did, so I texted him about using the code. He was in the area I was in and just came and picked me up, driving me to my place. Lots of innuendo and flirtatious talk, with him saying especially "he's never done anything 'like this' before (I couldn't figure out if he meant 'like this' to mean 1) with a fare or 2) with someone with a dick) but when I blatantly invited him into my apartment to see if he'd wanted to find out, he didn't hesitate. I lifted my skirt and let him fuck and breed my pussy bent over my chaise lounge. Sadly, he always has an excuse to not pick me up when I text him for a Lyft ride...
Another driver actually picked me up from outside of my Lover's house. I was still vibrating from the deep fuck I had just finished getting from him earlier, my pussy full of cum. The driver asked me why I was slightly panting. I just blatantly told him I just had sex with my Man and that I was still in the post sex throws. He asked me about the sex, I told him. I knew he was turned on. He pulled into an alleyway near my place and got in the backseat with me. He wanted to eat my cum filled pussy--I pulled down my shorts, lifted my legs up and let him eat it, finger it, taste my man's cum. He turned me around and shoved his cock in and came rather quickly but fed my pussy another load. He got back into the front seat and finished driving me home. I gave him a five star rating for sure! I've seen him post just last week on an app/website about driving for Lyft and horny for a fuck--not sure if it's to fuck a fare or off-the-clock?!
The third driver drove me across town back to my place, asking me to sit in the front seat as opposed to the back, where I'm more comfortable. We had an awkward conversation about him moving to Paris soon to join his girlfriend who had just moved there. He told me I reminded him of her, as we have similar features, etc. except that I have longer, sexier legs (guys like my legs alot lol). I was wearing skinny jeans that night and I teasingly said that it's too bad I'm not in a skirt, you could really see them and admire them. He shyly placed his hand on my thigh and gently stroked it, not once but three separate times at stop lights/signs (he also took the longest route to my place). I didn't flinch or touch him back. When we got to my place and I paid him through the app, I thanked him for the ride and just outright offered to let him touch the skin of my legs if he came inside. With no hesitation, he came in and I let him fuck me for about 30 minutes on my bed with my legs on his shoulders. He came while he sucked my toes and called me by his girlfriend's name..!

Question Series 1


Topic: Sexual Positions--Doggy: On All Fours, Knees Together or Apart ?

Question: Do you do doggy style with your knees open or together? Or do you let him decide? Open lets him stand directly behind you with his legs together. Knees together lets him stand directly behind you with your feet between his slightly spread legs. Feedback? Am I the only one who thinks about crazy shit like this? (TM in FL)

I've never given this particular position (all 4's, knees together) much thought but nowthat you bring it to my attention, I find that I'm often in this position when being taken doggy--perhaps because I'm a smaller build (5'9", 130#) it is easier for my Lover to naturally place me in this position, and yes, it is more "feminine" which is also why I'm taken this way when in doggy (most all of my regular Lovers are heterosexually-identified). My own little quirk to this is, so that I have more stability, I always cross my feet over each other too like an X. It helps me I guess to stay connected to the floor/bed so my Lover can go in and plow away at his own desired depth and pace as he holds my little waist.
In reverse, I also find that my Lovers will put me in Missionary with my legs on his shoulders and my knees pressed against me. Again, I instinctively cross my feet if they're relaxed behind his head, or if his hands are pushing my knees down, they'll rest easily on his shoulders or simply flat against his chest.

Body Talk


Friday, April 29, 2016

I want to write down my feelings and tell you how you make me feel,
tomes of hefty works filled with words
When we get together I fall silent, all of those words escape me
I let my body do the talking
and express my feelings
It is the secret language we speak to each other
There is no need for translation,
All meaning is understood

On Liberation


Sunday, January 3, 2016

I have set myself on a course of real liberation. I feel the new freedom moving through me. It feels great and energizing. I realize the more you peel away layers of whatever protective shell you cover yourself with and remove them, the only thing you become is your true Self. I used to think that peeling away these layers leads to Nothing because I felt nothing at the core. This was a fabrication made up by Fear. I know now I was sorely mistaken. What you become is quite distinct--you become integrated with your Self and with the Highest, which is to become Everything. And to be everything...that is beautiful.

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