Silence

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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Silence

makes me crazy
creates distance
don't know what to think
feels like you're gone
forever
is necessary
gives me space
helps me clear the air
I feel you there locked in between the spaces

the uncomfortable silence can scream so loud, a sound that says everything and nothing


I want there to be
the noise of your heart beating in 
my ear as I lay 
my head upon your chest
in an embrace full 
of Love


Letter to an Old Friendly Flame

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Monday, February 17, 2014

J,
     Thank you for seeing my worth.
Especially during a time (a long, dreadful period) of loveless existence, you saw the deeply rooted diamond of who I am. I relished in my pre-existence of supposed security, commitment, of a life conjoined, and I was not yet fully comfortable in my new life role as a solitary artist, of a lone bohemian in a modern technocracy. When you spied your eyes upon me that first time, you instantly saw my worth.
I thank you for coming forward and reaching far out of your comfort zone towards me. I thank you for expressing your joy of knowing me and for making that evolutionary reach toward me. I now know that you felt that I was worth it-on a deeper and on a surface level-and just by this action you came to show me that I am worth it.
I am worth loving.

-M.
February 17, 2009

On Love

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I do not covet Love or its machinations.

I cannot glower in Love's subtle depths for nothing resides there that does not exist elsewhere.

I will not wield Love as a weapon, to grow accustomed of its weight and bend it to the burn of the wrist and to the valour of its supposed spurn.

I am opened by Love's determination to see the world without eyes heavy with misgivings, judgements, or aims.

I am free to experience Love in all of its expansive greatness and worthy of all of its blessings.

Love is a mirror in which I see my World.

Love is free and open 
and belongs to everyone 
and no one but Itself.

The Promise of a New Day

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The newness that each day brings upon waking is truly the point of inspiration. How finite and subtle this inspiration presents itself- it unfolds in its seamless way and starts to reveal itself in numerous, tiny beginnings, much like life. 
Life unfolds and reveals many moments for you, presently or in memoriam. It opens your eyes to see the road in front (and behind) you so that your journey is not short sighted or boring. Countless new sights and experiences abound!
It is this awakening and the blessing of its arrival that is worth celebrating, by enjoying it, recognizing it, utilizing it to it greatest potential, honouring it in meditative contemplation, and striving to experience it to its maximum.
It is this awakening that reminds you--
Live to the Fullest Extent of your Being.
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Remember Me

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Thursday, February 6, 2014

I remember when I used 2 love u
It was such an undertaking
U were my everything
I wanted nothing more than 2 bask in the glow of your never-ending light
U were my stars at night and my sun during the day
And now u have gone and left me here, 
alone and far away

I remember when I used 2 need u
Like a drug I wanted 2 take all of u in
U were my compliment
I wanted nothing more than 2 hold u tight against my skin
And let u in2 the hallow in my heart and fill me up
And now u have gone and gave your heart 2 the one who came b4 me

I remember when I used 2 want u
Deep and driving cravings of just 2 be near u
2 hear u speak and smell your skin were all the things I wanted
2 be in
U were my desire and my essence, 
longing 4 u at every waking turn
And now u’re gone

U’ve been led astray

Doubts

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Your doubt can move me to mountains so far away from the present that I do not want to ever come back to the now. How can you have any doubt when I have given to you so freely, and so sweetly? Haven’t I reassured you enough to dispel any doubt, or are my words forgotten in the instant they are heard, the undulations of my body against yours become untouched?
What you said has upset me, can’t you see? It makes me want to give up all of the pleasure we have exchanged and begin my search again for the elusive that I have found in you, out in the mired ether. I feel like I am ready now to turn away, from not just you but from the universal gift I am honoured to grant you. I doubt that what we have is not going to last much longer, and I don’t want to give up all of this sweetness just yet. Again, I stand here and hold fast against the impending end.
I know it is unbelievable each and every time we are together but know that it is real and it is of our own making. I know it is unbelievable that all of this luxury I own is meant and given only to you. Know I came to an understanding a long time ago that is simple and true: I only want you.
I have tried to shake myself from the seemingly strange connection we have, to seek the refuge from it in the reality of the outside world, but no matter what I try, I cannot turn away.
I came to realize that all I am doing is creating doubts against what we have so I can break free. I choose to instead remove any doubts I self-create and exist in the vivid liberty that we co-create each and every time we are together in pleasure. I can only hope that you do the same but I can sense when it is too much for you and you shrink away and leave, and replace our closeness with aching spaces of silence, setting your doubts on a meandering wander, perhaps to free yourself from me.
I know it is unreal how good it is with us, how deep and intense the lust we have for each other is. I know it is unreal how that lust that builds up comes to fruition and explodes when we’re together, blasting us into the unknown reaches of the power of it. I have felt lost and delirious after our moments of ecstatic release. Isn’t that what this is all for and about? Yes, my sweet man, it is. And it is knowing this and letting it take us over is where we find liberty. Free yourself from the prison of doubt and trust that I give you me freely and completely; I have said and I have shown you.
All I want to do is please you. I know that is all I am here for, all you need me to do. It is really all I want to do and be, nothing more or less. It is the universal gift I am honoured to grant you. I know and feel that you are deserved of it, a deep happiness to quell the suspension of the ego-mind in which you are constrained by.

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