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Pleasure Perfect (Shangri-La)

What you do to me, my Love, I have come to know as mon plaisir parfaite; like magic you find it there in my joyful depths every time. Mmmmm...my pussy flowered open by your beautiful thick cock, making it feel so good from the tip of its head to the full of its base and then throughout your body and back into mine. That's the most amazing feeling to me, of all things--that right there!!
With each thrust and throb you give me, I am transported...Heaven.
It's absolutely perfect because everything you do to me and I do to you, sends us to another place, worth the visit each and every time. We are a vessel in which ecstasy is the coin and fuel, ridings on the rhythms of our bodies grinding to le battement de nos coeurs.
There is no place else in all the Universe I would rather be than when you are nearest to me, conjoined and entwined. It is my Shangri-La...Divine.

A LIttle Advice

There was this guy sitting near to me, ogling another guy (the barista as a matter of fact) and I could feel the sexual tension between them dancing a ballet in the air. It was so thick you could've sliced it and served it up as the dessert special of the day. 
I quietly watched, patiently waiting for that magic moment when the tension breaks and the two of them would go into the john and play at making love or babies. 
I waited, and waited. For two hours. 

Nothing, except for one vague and failed compliment ("has anyone ever told you that you look like Randy Travis?" followed by the equally inquisitive "Who??"). 

"Just do it," I wanted to scream, "tell him that you want to settle down and live the American dream together or see the world in a flash of glory, or at the very least that you wanna fuck him senseless!". 

The guy left before I could even say one word to him and even before he himself could muster up the courage to show any affections …

Smile

Did you know you would have to catch your breath the first time you laid eyes on me like I had known I'd have to for you? My heart stood still for a beat until I heard your sweet voice say my name and joy skipped across my face
caught in the knowing,  I smiled
Did you know that you'd hold a special place in my life the first time you laid eyes on me like I had known I'd have with you? My  mind's at ease and my spirit is in comfort and my soul is enveloped lying next to you and held in your embrace
caught in the knowing,  I smile
Did you know you would still care for me after I am gone the first time you laid eyes on me like I had known I'd do for you? My mind is filled with lasting pleasant memories each time I think of you, when I wonder of when next I'll hear your sweet voice, stilled that I will always love you
caught in the knowing,  I will smile

Love Gun

Love is in control but it is me who holds the gun  Ready to aim,  my eye on the target my focus is on sight,  I pull the trigger and in the flash you are caught

Fish Out of Water

I have swam in the deep dark sea of denial for far too long. Its cold temperatures have failed me, mistaking its rush for warmth.
I have swam against currents of my own power and fought to win against the ebb of the tide, fought to win against the rip currents, only to lose myself every time, sinking deeper into murkier depths. I have fallen so far down into the abyss that the underworld of the sea appeared full of splendor and magic.
It was all an illusion.
I come up for air now, permanently exiting the water and laying down on the shore. I strive for my land legs to sprout from my fins, laying down on the shore, gasping for air to fill my gills as they turn back to lungs. On the shore, I bask in the daylight, in the warmth of the sun.
I am exhausted and exhilaration rises from within. I am renewed by my will to evolve.
The realization begins, transforming me anew.

Le Soleil et l'ombre/ Sun and Shade

Tu est comme le soleil à moi, lumineux et brillant et brûlant; il est là, dans tes yeux! Que vais-je faire? Je suis fait à l'aveugle par le frisson de notre affaire.  Puis-je me reposer à l'ombre, même si je sais que je vous y trouver?  Peu importe, je me consume et se prélasser dans la lueur de votre étoile...



You are like the sun to me, bright and brilliant and burning; it is there in your eyes! What am I to do? I am made blind by the thrill of our affair.  Do I rest in the shade even when I know I find you there?  No matter, I am consumed and bask in the glow of your star...

Swim (Part 2)

My Love,

Thank you for being a light to show me the way forward.

Thank you for illuminating my heart.

Thank you for giving me hope that love still exists here for me.

Thank you for being my kindred spirit and for finding me again and for bringing me back to myself, centered and balanced and complete.

I will always feel you, I will always love you, I will always know you in this present existence and beyond through the veil and expanse of time.
-M
July 9, 2009


Fuzzy Dreams Come True

I woke up from a fuzzy dream this morning that made me laugh and struck me as strange: I dreamt that my good old friend Rubin and I had sex, not once but three times, in the span of a day, in various guises, positions, and temperaments. We were of course, having lots of fun, laughing and carrying on as two old friends do but there was an intensity to the passion of each of our encounters. There was a strong sense of desire and lust for each other that isn't usually there between two old friends. Mix that with familiarity, and the feeling is one of something akin to love. I couldn't shake the intensity of his dream eyes, staring and piercing into the core of me at the moment of deliverance, the final image left on my mental dream screen. 
Later in the day, I actually had to speak to Rubin and I mentioned my morning dream to him. We had a real good laugh over it! Afterward, I found myself wondering why such an intense dream about a good friend had to play itself out in the way it…

The Journey of My Renaissance

There are so many places that I want to go--how many destinations will I eventually visit on this road of independence and freedom? I can't know unless I travel steadfastly and assured. 
It has taken quite some time to get to the place that I am at without you and I have done it all by myself, done it on my own terms and with my own resolve, weighed by my own strength and measured by my own ruler. 
How can I know if it is meant to be done all in this way if I think, if I doubt that it can't be done alone? How and when will I know otherwise? I have to trust--trust that I'm going the right way forward and toward an honest place, onward to a place of peaceful existence. 
I must continue to learn that everything is a lesson and examine what knowledge I have gained from a worthy teacher such as you. So many lessons filled with tests and challenges, all of which I have passed with brilliant and flying colors. I take each and every step forward and continue to find out if each mo…

Finally Our Time

All I want to do is to raise you up to heights you have never gone before my love can do this it is a coin I must pay because you have given this service to me lifetimes ago My love is a river that runs deeper than any ocean,  it will wash away all that has become painful and burdensome and clear away the debris I want no thing in return I want only the grace of loving you and you loving me equally It is finally our time

Swim (Part 1)

My Love,

I remember the city under the sea and being with you there in that incarnation that was seemingly so long ago and only just yesterday, confounded in the strangeness of Time. Every minute detail comes rushing back!! How we were so United, and ultimately Divided. 
Politics, the art of the Impossible; Love, the art of the Possible.

You were who I was running to--and we meet again on dry land, only to transcend the earth and fly.


We will stop "missing" each other when we give each a piece of our self to the other and carry it with us through our days... You can give it to me and I will give it to you--we will turn it into Light together.
Your nuances are endearing, for they tickle me pink and rainbow bright. They lend to moments of folly, and eons of little dreams, where I find you there, gentle as the Sun on my face. You soothe me.


May I be the solace you seek. Let me make you feel better...
-M
May 4, 2009

Sutra (In Praise of a Union)

I am the carafe to carry your milk,  mingled with the honey of my Existence All that is living springs forth in joyous splendor,  a union of lovers Divine. Come forward and fill my cistern  with the waters of Ecstasy until I'm left to overflow  with praise of such a gift as your Love, a union of souls entwined.

The Pleasure of a Friday Evening

Thursday morning, 10:11 am text message thread Him: How much longer until you’re here in my arms?  :) I miss u, need u. Me: I miss you. 24 little hours, baby. Him: you free tomorrow eve? Me: YES, all yours. In need of you and the pleasure you give me. Him: Good.
Thursday night, 6pm, American Airlines Flight  85 somewhere above Nevada My thoughts are white hot, especially now that I’m on my way like a winged goddess returning to her temple. Perhaps it’s the glass of wine or perhaps the anticipation of seeing Him again. My panties are damp from the delicious thoughts I’ve been playing in my mind about tomorrow’s date night. I reminisce on just how great it is to give myself to Him, how he takes me on thrilling rides of so much joy. He knows how to get me to places only he has directions to. I can’t wait to land and get onto the streets of San Francisco, being chauferred to bed. Being with Him can’t come soon enough.
Friday morning, 7:03 am W Hotel San Francisco I dreamt of Him eating my sweetnes…

Silence

Silence
makes me crazy
creates distance
don't know what to think
feels like you're gone
forever
is necessary gives me space helps me clear the air I feel you there locked in between the spaces
the uncomfortable silence can scream so loud, a sound that says everything and nothing

I want there to be the noise of your heart beating in  my ear as I lay  my head upon your chest in an embrace full  of Love

Letter to an Old Friendly Flame

J,
     Thank you for seeing my worth.
Especially during a time (a long, dreadful period) of loveless existence, you saw the deeply rooted diamond of who I am. I relished in my pre-existence of supposed security, commitment, of a life conjoined, and I was not yet fully comfortable in my new life role as a solitary artist, of a lone bohemian in a modern technocracy. When you spied your eyes upon me that first time, you instantly saw my worth.
I thank you for coming forward and reaching far out of your comfort zone towards me. I thank you for expressing your joy of knowing me and for making that evolutionary reach toward me. I now know that you felt that I was worth it-on a deeper and on a surface level-and just by this action you came to show me that I am worth it.
I am worth loving.
-M.
February 17, 2009

On Love

I do not covet Love or its machinations.
I cannot glower in Love's subtle depths for nothing resides there that does not exist elsewhere.

I will not wield Love as a weapon, to grow accustomed of its weight and bend it to the burn of the wrist and to the valour of its supposed spurn.

I am opened by Love's determination to see the world without eyes heavy with misgivings, judgements, or aims.

I am free to experience Love in all of its expansive greatness and worthy of all of its blessings.

Love is a mirror in which I see my World.

Love is free and open  and belongs to everyone  and no one but Itself.

The Promise of a New Day

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The newness that each day brings upon waking is truly the point of inspiration. How finite and subtle this inspiration presents itself- it unfolds in its seamless way and starts to reveal itself in numerous, tiny beginnings, much like life. 
Life unfolds and reveals many moments for you, presently or in memoriam. It opens your eyes to see the road in front (and behind) you so that your journey is not short sighted or boring. Countless new sights and experiences abound!
It is this awakening and the blessing of its arrival that is worth celebrating, by enjoying it, recognizing it, utilizing it to it greatest potential, honouring it in meditative contemplation, and striving to experience it to its maximum.
It is this awakening that reminds you-- Live to the Fullest Extent of your Being.

Remember Me

I remember when I used 2 love u It was such an undertaking U were my everything I wanted nothing more than 2 bask in the glow of your never-ending light U were my stars at night and my sun during the day And now u have gone and left me here,  alone and far away
I remember when I used 2 need u Like a drug I wanted 2 take all of u in U were my compliment I wanted nothing more than 2 hold u tight against my skin And let u in2 the hallow in my heart and fill me up And now u have gone and gave your heart 2 the one who came b4 me
I remember when I used 2 want u Deep and driving cravings of just 2 be near u 2 hear u speak and smell your skin were all the things I wanted 2 be in U were my desire and my essence,  longing 4 u at every waking turn And now u’re gone
U’ve been led astray

Doubts

Your doubt can move me to mountains so far away from the present
that I do not want to ever come back to the now.

How can you have any doubt when I have given to you so freely, and so sweetly?
Haven’t I reassured you enough to dispel any doubt,
or are my words forgotten in the instant they are heard,
the undulations of my body against yours
become untouched?

What you said has upset me, can’t you see?
It makes me want to give up all of the pleasure we have exchanged and begin my search again for the elusive that I have found in you, out in the mired ether. I feel like I am ready now to turn away, from not just you but from the universal gift I am honoured to grant you. I doubt that what we have is not going to last much longer, and I don’t want to give up all of this sweetness just yet. 
Again, I stand here and hold fast against the impending end.
I know it is unbelievable each and every time we are together but know that it is real and it is of our own making.
I know it is unbelievab…

Giving Tree

In the cold, I will give you my wool. In the dark, I will give you my light. In the heat, I will give you my cool. In the day, I will give you my night. In the loss, I will give you my gain. In the rush, I will give you all my time.

Where it hangs ready and ripe on the vine, I bear my fruit for you to eat. Whatever you ask, I shall do, no matter how sublime.
I am captive, a butterfly caught in your net.

I am yours.

So Bad

I want you so bad and I want you all the time, that when I can’t have you when I want, it strikes me across the face like a whip and I am taken aback into a melancholy deep and rich. I have fallen into this melancholic dream many times over you. When you are away, at home with her especially, and she is the prison warden keeping you locked away from me, your sweet freedom, the hurt grows to an immensely palpable pain. Sometimes I think this pain is what I crave and you are just the needle with which I prick myself to feel it.  You make me feel so good that it is so bad;  I cannot do without cravings, a glutton for you.

Pleasures So Guilty

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Oh how many times I have fallen for the lust that runs down deep in my valley for you, feelings so good that 
all I want are these pleasures so guilty 
I forget my professions, living only for the lust I have for you
I crave the savory taste of the flavor you give It is the only taste I want in my mouth when I suck my tongue and fall deep for these pleasures so guilty 
I forget remorse, living only for the clandestine moments I have with you
Every time is an amazing beautiful ecstastic dream realized, 
seemingly unreal 
I don’t want it to cease or to end,  holding closed my eyes from
 these pleasures so guilty 
I couldn’t let go, even if I tried with all my might again
I feel so good that it aches and reels and sets me to spinning or to flights of wanton fancy you take me on a ride through landscapes far and away that I don’t want to get off the trips that you take me on I don’t want to be set apart from these pleasures so guilty 
so much so that they make me 
want to stay, 
give it all away to you Rela…